thought explosions

sometimes i think too much. and sometimes i don’t.

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Introducing Me, Myself and I |

19 | girl | call me Kiya if you will |

dangerously in love with the beauty found within all things creative |

i write, draw, am allergic to being photographed but loves being behind the camera, makes a habit of getting heartbroken by fictional worlds, and practices virtual ghosting every now and then ||

pssst . . . the beautiful profile picture is all thanks to the wonderful Kate from allthetrinkets

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Recent Ramblings

so i’m twenty i guess? September 7, 2019
lost forever July 12, 2019
dear diary June 21, 2019
my love, it seems June 3, 2019

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that person whose life seems to be full of colour may be trying to claw off the mask that has taken over their identity. they may be drowning in darkness whilst showing you what the world has to offer. a smile doesn't mean anything and nor do the words i'm okay. sometimes, people throw themselves into work, studies, excessive extra curricular things to burn themselves out. in an attempt to burn out the light that keeps them awake at night with deep thoughts, worries and sorrow. sometimes people isolate themselves and detach themselves from reality, in the hopes they can numb the world out. sometimes, they hurt themselves, because perhaps pain will be a distraction from the inner turmoil that deafens them. and sometimes, they no longer want to remain a hostage to the emotions and thoughts that prey upon them. they decide they no longer want to be haunted and contemplate on death. it's not that they want to die, but perhaps they want to escape. find a way to stop the ringing echoes in their minds. a relief from the exhaustion of being strong for so long. a craving to know what it is to breathe again without being suffocated. but perhaps, all they need is someone to reach out to them. perhaps they need someone to be broken with, someone to rebuild themselves with, someone to talk to, and someone they can be open with. someone to remind them of their determination to recuperate and rise from the ashes like a phoenix. please look out for each other, because a small gesture of care goes a long way. we've all been broken at some point in our life. we all hide parts of ourselves, but if you find yourself with someone you trust with your vulnerability and innermost thoughts, do share with them. we cannot heal from the past, if we fail to address the roots of our pain. we cannot be blessed with closure if we blur the memories out and try forget it's existence. seeking for professional help isn't a weakness either. it, in itself, is a strength, for you are opening up your heart and tackling all the challenges in your life. and that takes courage. sending you all my love kiya x

he likes to be a part of the background because he's scared he'll ruin the picturesque moment. he likes to watch from the shadows because no one dares look there. he knows how to stand infront of you and make himself fade away in your mind. he has a gift though. and he uses it selflessly. he stands in the background and observes how to heal, soothe and comfort all. but alas, no one notices the boy in the background and the power his loving soul welds.

i'm trying to water a dead plant because i see life in places it doesn't exist 😔

is this our nevers road (who gets the reference)

still walking towards the light at the end of the tunnel...at least i got you by my side 🖤

where does my road lead?

can't help searching for you; wish you was here

~ tomorrow comes and goes before you know ~ i like to seek serenity from the sea's volatile character. i draw comfort from it's power to drown everything out and find the way it's set on fire by the sun alluring. i love how it's depths are unknown and i love how it's unrestrained and untamed. sometimes i wish i had the traits of the sea flowing through my veins. perhaps it would demolish all self destructive tendencies for the sea has no time to ponder; it just exists as it's meant to be. freely.

if i tumble, will you catch me? if i get lost, will you find me? if i'm searching, will you guide me? if i'm gone, will you remember me?

and i wonder why, wonder what for, it's like we keep coming back for more ~ scared to be lonely

hmmm

you shoot me down, but i won't fall ~

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