don’t get close to anyone

don’t get
close
to anyone my
thoughts whisper
to me;
stay guarded
my mind
warns
and my heart
proceeds to
put up barriers
warding off
the devil
that appears
today
in the form of
attachment.

i’m just too
tired,
too goddamn tired
of caring more
than them
and draining
my soul dry
for someone
whose getting
to know me
just
to pass time
and before
i know it –
oof…
they’re gone.

or rather that’s my
somewhat (ir)rational
fear
when someone
else pops by
with a hi, hello
how are you?
you seem kinda
chill and quirky,
wanna
be friends?

and i think
to myself
oh here we go
again!
how long before
this one runs
off too?
and then i
feel like my
heart is ice
cold
frozen
for i communicate
with a somewhat
detached persona –
oh god
what a bitch i am –
and yet they
still
stick around
patiently
as i take my
time to thaw
and trust openly
and freely
and place
my trust issues
on the rejected
pile.