hostage

i’ve been
treading the
path i’ve been
taking at
gunpoint

but it’s only
now that i
realise it’s
you
that’s been
holding me
hostage
all this
time.

i would
have
traded my
smile for yours
given up
sleep
wasted away
idle hours
in your company
obsessed over
anything and
everything
with you
sacrificed
the rewards
of what i reaped
because it’s what
people who
love each other
unconditionally
do.

and no –
i’m not just
talking about
lovers;
i’m talking
about broken friendships
and distorted family bonds
and poisoned lovers
and fractured acquaintances
and the tainted society
and the confused humans
we attach
ourselves to.

i would
not have hesitated
to take
a bullet for you
so what a pretty
sight it is
to finally
see who holds
the gun
and what a
nail to the coffin
it is to
learn that it’s
you that will
pull the
trigger
and kill
a part of
me that it
vital for
survival.

there’s this sadness gnawing away