we don’t talk anymore

you hit me up
like hey what’s good girl?
and i tell you
nothing’s changed
and that my
spirit
isn’t broken by the world;
i’m a changed bitch
i say
whilst i watch you believe
all the pretty lies
i throw to you.

it’s like
all of before
means nothing
to me
or perhaps
it holds no meaning
to our present
because i overdosed
on not giving one too many
fucks;
we don’t share any more
laughter
or weep in sorrow
together
or hold the same
longing gaze to exist
in each others’ future
or feel the same
emotions course
through us
as you exchange
i miss yous
and
how are yous
and
i got yous
and
see you around
for my
radio silence of
civil pleasantries
online.

even after
all this time
i wonder
why you bother
despite the
distance between
me
and
you;
i wonder
what you want
me to say
and i wonder
where you want
it all to go
and wonder if
you can feel
how you’ve
lost me
and wonder if
you know
there’s no
reigniting the bond
because i don’t want
it no more.

so when
you hit me up
like hey what’s good girl?
i tell you
nothing’s changed
and exit the chat.
… because we don’t talk
anymore.

you can read my last poem ‘and suddenly’ which discusses PTSD here

also planning to do a q&a sometime soon, so please do leave any questions you have in the comments below!