but you didn’t

I wanted you to fight for me when I forgot how to use my words as weapons, and when I forgot just why I should keep on fighting. I wanted you to take my hand, and smother me with assurance and validate my cause. When the tears couldn’t be held back anymore, and I watched my world crumble, I wanted you to fight for me. I didn’t want you to let me walk away from the battlefield; I didn’t want you to help dig a grave for all my dreams. I wanted you to fight for my future, my hopes, my ambitions.

 

My depression, it steals away the goodness my heart finds in life. My anger, it clouds the gratitude I have for the life I live. Negativity drains away the hope, anxiety bolts all open doors shut, and self-depreciation is a powerful tool. I wanted you to fight alongside the happiness that struggled to stay within me, and I wanted you to fight for the values I wanted to abide by.

 

I wanted you to fight for me so I didn’t lose all my colours and merge into the shadows. I wanted to breathe and remember what it is to be human without feeling insane. I wanted you to fight for me so I wasn’t robbed of the traits I worked so hard to build. I wanted you to fight so I could resuscitate the part of me that had died, and learn to heal bruises and feed my demons with love. I wanted to regain my identity and stitch up reopened wounds whilst chanting a mantra of carpe diem.

 

I wanted you to fight for me…and you didn’t.

 

a/n this extract was written from a prompt i found on the internet titled ‘i wanted you to fight for me and you didn’t.’ what is one thing you would want someone else to fight on your behalf for?

kiya x