I wanted you to fight for me when I forgot how to use my words as weapons, and when I forgot just why I should keep on fighting. I wanted you to take my hand, and smother me with assurance and validate my cause. When the tears couldn’t be held back anymore, and I watched my world crumble, I wanted you to fight for me. I didn’t want you to let me walk away from the battlefield; I didn’t want you to help dig a grave for all my dreams. I wanted you to fight for my future, my hopes, my ambitions.
My depression, it steals away the goodness my heart finds in life. My anger, it clouds the gratitude I have for the life I live. Negativity drains away the hope, anxiety bolts all open doors shut, and self-depreciation is a powerful tool. I wanted you to fight alongside the happiness that struggled to stay within me, and I wanted you to fight for the values I wanted to abide by.
I wanted you to fight for me so I didn’t lose all my colours and merge into the shadows. I wanted to breathe and remember what it is to be human without feeling insane. I wanted you to fight for me so I wasn’t robbed of the traits I worked so hard to build. I wanted you to fight so I could resuscitate the part of me that had died, and learn to heal bruises and feed my demons with love. I wanted to regain my identity and stitch up reopened wounds whilst chanting a mantra of carpe diem.
I wanted you to fight for me…and you didn’t.
a/n this extract was written from a prompt i found on the internet titled ‘i wanted you to fight for me and you didn’t.’ what is one thing you would want someone else to fight on your behalf for?