Isn’t it funny how one wrong move can fuck up an entire dynamic of a friendship, or even the future of a relationship?
However, if whatever bond you had was real, your friend/lover would find it within themselves to forgive you. They will understand than no one is perfect, and that we all have our slips, and that this was yours. Even though they won’t be able to forget, they will push down the feeling of doubt and trust you after graciously accepting your apology. They may express their feelings yet console you at the same time. Most importantly, the mistake will be turned into a mark boasting of the warmth behind the gears of your friendship. It could be something to laugh about or bring up during bouts of nostalgia.It consolidates how no one is abandoned, no matter how large the pain you caused was.
And that’s how you know you have a real connection – how you know that it is bound by strength, love, and compassion. Not just words of affection.
Even then you’ve got to come to the acceptance that everyone copes differently and maybe you’ve run your course of friendship when things go wrong. Not everyone is able to forgive and see your face everyday. Not everyone wants to become vulnerable again by trusting you. Not everyone is up for a rerun of your relationship. Restarting is hard especially when grudges can hang in the midst.
At the same time my heart yearns for those who in spite of recognising the spitefulness behind someone’s attitude, has reluctance to come to terms that maybe the slip up wasn’t accidental. Maybe it was deliberate. And maybe it was meant to be.
What I’m trying to say is learn how to differentiate a honest mistake from a malicious one. The variation from a spiteful slip made during a course of anger by accident, and the one made with true intentions knowing the consequences beforehand, and the fact that they had all the power with the underlying intent of vengeance.
Relationships turn sour sometimes. Previous histories stain it so much, what friendship you once treasured, has long corroded away. Leave it alone. Don’t add bitter to the sweet, nor salt to the wounds. Sometimes it’s best to leave things alone with just the memories to live on.
It’s much sweeter that way.