Pressures of a new school year

The new school academic year begins for me today. However, I still can’t comprehend why I bother to set out ground rules for myself each year, when deep down, I know it’ll be broken the minute I set eyes on a familiar face from school.

A new year. A fresh start that comes in handy with a  new year. It’s the best chance to change yourself, I assure myself. Oh the lies I tell. I know for a fact that I stand no chance of fully achieving my resolve. I am too shy and too concerned with peoples reaction to change within me that I can’t go through with it. Some people might call it a lack of self confidence. I like to call it the fear of things going wrong. The pessimistic outlook on life.

Every year my resolutions are the same:
Be more confident
Be louder
Don’t be shy
Stand up for yourself

Needless to say I pretty much fail at keeping to those. In my defence though, over time I have gained ground on all those hopes; however it isn’t to the extent I want for myself. It is only myself becoming comfortable with the environment and people I know after four or so years, and loosening up slightly bit by bit. Who knows. Maybe if school ran for a hundred years (a horrifying thought) I’ll finally achieve the ideal me.

That’s why I’m here to pessimistically tell you to not set the bar too high for yourself. Change doesn’t have to be drastic – it can be slow and steady. After all, slow and steady wins the race. . . meaning you’ll eventually get to the ideal you one day. Maybe not this school year, or when you graduate, or buy your first car, but definitely before you move on after life.

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